rough night

last night was a night that i wish could rewind and rewrite. i don't really know what happened to set things in motion. i was half asleep when everything went down. i got up to nurse brandon around 2 a.m. and i dozed back off. he woke up and started to root again, so i set him down because i had planned on laying on my side to finish nursing. i don't know if i didn't put him over as far on the couch as i thought i did, or if i pushed down on the cushion when i was re-situating myself...but the next thing i know, brandon is on the floor. the WOOD floor. there was this awful thud when he hit the ground. it was like it was happening so fast, yet in slow motion all at the same time. i just couldn't catch him. i jumped up and ran into the bedroom and woke up james. we immediately call the pediatrician's office, and the triage nurse tells us to take him to the emergency room. thank goodness it's not that far away, and they get us in pretty quickly. they first checked brandon's vitals and observed him, and then they took him for a cat scan. the results came back that he had no problems, so they observed him for a little while longer and then released us. it was so scary going through that.

i told my college roommate from a&m, jennifer, that you know it's an accident, but you still feel like a piece of crap for dropping your kid. it's like you know better, but you're so beyond tired that you start cutting corners. i'm a perfectionist. i want my house to look perfect, my kids to look perfect, me to be back in a size 6 already, etc. i KNOW it's unrealistic to do all this after just having a baby...but i still expect it from myself. jennifer and i have been friends for a long time and she reminded me that it's not the house and stuff that the kids will remember, it's me being a stressed out mess. that totally hit me. i don't want my kids to think back on their childhood and think that. i want them to remember how much fun we had and how much joy they give us each day. so this was a wake up call. a scary one.

i figured after the night we had, that i should cancel my activities for the day. i had planned on going to see a bunch of my girlfriends in the woodlands at a scrapbooking retreat. james encouraged me to still go because i was feeling so bad about what happened. i was so glad i went. i got to see all my sweet friends, and some even shared stories about something crazy they {accidentally} did to their kids! brandon got passed around from friend to friend. he loved it!

here are some pictures of my sweet friends who just adore me. ha ha.

this is my dear friend janell. i just adore the heck out of her. she has become such a great friend to me. i don't know what i would do if i didn't have her in my life.

lee ann is a hoot. she didn't want me taking a picture of her, but she gave in because she knows i want brandon to have a scrapbook of him and everyone that loves him!

lynda and i have become quite good buddies over the last year! we have had many a fun conversation about things in my life. she is always good at helping me find the silver lining of the rough stuff. and she loves my oreo balls!

miss jeri has a heart of gold. she always wears the prettiest jewelry! she bought brandon the cutest ducky footed pajama outfit! oh, and jeri...brandon smelled like your perfume for the rest of the day. made me giggle every time i picked him up!

at 3 p.m. i had to leave the girls and head back to my mother-in-laws who was so kind to watch the big kids for me. jared and lauren were having such a fun time that they did not want to come home with me! they got to play with the big star wars ship that james and johnny had growing up, with legos, they watched star wars and played go fish. oh, and played light sabers outside too! i had to promise them that we'd play light sabers again when we got home...and even then they were still miffed about having to leave!

jimmy & melinda showed up around 4:30 p.m. i conned jimmy into doing a little jedi training with the kids! i went outside to see how they were doing, and let me tell you...jared is a force to be reckoned with when he is protecting the universe! jimmy was such a good sport...he even wore a superhero cape!
melinda held the little man while i took pictures. she is looking like a pro!!!

my neighbors, lee ann and her son isaiah came over when they saw we were outside so they could meet brandon.

at 6ish p.m. tim and rachel came over. of course tim had to get a little jedi training in. jared ran him all over the yard. i had fun taking pictures of tim because he made such big moves! this is one of my favorites!!!

and this one is for rachel. she made jokes about "making it on the blog"!!! look how cute you two look holding the baby! thanks again for the sweet outfits and the matching dog! OH...and tim...thanks for not making a goofy face!

and what was lauren doing during all of this? she was dressing up. a little too much make up for this harvest {princess} witch!
dinner at rockfish was great. we enjoyed the food and the company so much. we really have to stop waiting so long to get together! thanks to you four for making the trek to our neck of the woods for dinner and fellowship. and seriously jimmy and tim.......thank you for playing with my big kids. it was so neat to see jared having so much fun with his uncle jimmy and uncle tim!

so the day got off to a rough start, but it ended great. thanks to all my friends for being who you are and for letting me be who i am.

perfect attendance

yesterday jared came home from school with a little slip of paper that said that he was getting an award at school. jared was so excited and he asked me if i could come to his school to watch him get his award. i told him of course i would go.

after we dropped little mama off at mother's day out, brandon and i went up to the elementary school. everyone was so excited to see the baby. and of course as mrs. h and jared's class pass me in the hallway, she gives me the "take him out of the carseat and hand him over" look! she held brandon throughout the entire assembly! well, until our class won the best behavior trophy and she had to go up to the front of the cafeteria to claim it!

jared was so proud of himself for getting the perfect attendance ribbon, bracelet and special coupon for a free meal. he has not been tardy or missed a day since he started kindergarten! we want jared (and the other two) to know that we take school very seriously, and barring any sickness they will be there ready to learn. i believe that because we have taken this stance since jared was in the early childhood class, he has taken school very seriously and has done better than we had ever imagined for him. it's amazing that six and a half years ago, i was told that jared may never walk, talk, or do "normal" things. he is an amazing reader, and now he adds numbers faster than me! pretty soon i'll be taking my little human calculator to the grocery store to help me figure out what products are the best deals! we have truly been blessed with the teachers that jared has had since starting school. without these four women, the aides, and other support staff...he wouldn't be able to walk up to the front of the cafeteria and proudly get his awards. okay...now i'm crying!

so let me back up for a minute....

last night i got really upset that james was working late again. his job has become my worst nightmare. he works pretty much seven days a week now, and most of them are late nights. it is frustrating beyond words. i know that he doesn't want to be working all of those hours, but he says he has to do it. and in this economy, logically i know that he needs to do whatever he has to in order to protect his job, but it still sucks. i'm sure that alot of my frustration is due to the lack of sleep and my wacked out hormones, but my husband should not be missing out on these special first weeks with our baby.

anyway.......at dinnertime i just broke down and started crying like a baby myself. jared came over from the table and started patting me on the back and telling me "it's okay mommy." he even gave me his chocolate chip cookie and said, "mommy, will this make you feel better?" and the selfish person in me took my 6 year olds cookie and i ate it. it did make me feel better, for about a second, and then i got even more upset that i ate his cookie and didn't have anything to replace it with in the pantry. but being the sweet boy that jared is, he didn't mind. he wanted to make me feel better. okay, i'm crying again.

so back to this morning. after the assembly i asked jared if he wanted me and brandon to come back and eat lunch with him. he started jumping up and down and asked if i would get him a hamburger from mcdonald's. as i walk out to the car, he pops out the school door and yells out to me, "and please bring me a cookie!" i had to laugh! i brought him TWO!

jared, brandon, and i had a nice lunch. we took a bunch of pictures of brandon eating lunch with his big brother for the first time. and jared showed off his baby brother to every teacher that walked by.

i'm so proud of him!

hula girl

we spent the day with grammy today. she came up to see lauren's ballet class and to help out with the kids. lauren was so excited that someone else was coming to watch her perform! she is definitely my child!!! this week she did even better listening to her teacher and trying all the different techniques. she particularly likes the arabesque! although sometimes she turns it into more of a karate kick!!!
after lauren's ballet class, she wanted to treat grammy to lunch. she of course picked going to target! our archer farms salads leave a lot to be desired, but lauren just loved having grammy go to her favorite place! we cruised around the store and i picked up a picture frame for brandon's birth announcement and we looked at the baby clothes. goodness gracious. it is so hard for me to get out of that section without buying anything. and they have a huge selection of chunky, soft baby blankets. i tried to resist the multi colored polka dot blanket, but i had no will power!!!

we headed back to the house and grammy gave lauren the souvenirs she picked up for her on her trip to hawaii. lauren just loved the hula skirt. she put on quite the hula show for us. this girl knows how to move those hips! she also loved the hello kitty post it notes. thanks grammy...we have a collection on one of our walls!!!
grammy spent lots of time loving on the little man. can you tell in this picture that he's starting to fill out in the face more? brandon is just such a little heart. i can't get over how sweet of a baby i had!
jared was excited to see his "surprise" when he got home. he was in trouble though because he had to sign the conduct book again today. he got in BIG trouble because he got caught cheating. mrs. h said that he was supposed to be writing a sentence about a penguin and he copied his classmates sentence. so she told him to erase it and write his own. while she was hanging the sentences on the outside wall of her classroom, jared took it upon himself to go copy someone's sentence in the back of the room. she caught him red-handed. needless to say he had plenty of practice copying a sentence tonight when he was writing lines. and yes...i make my 6 year old write lines!

it was a great day with grammy. we had lots of fun and we look forward to doing it again soon!

first family photo

just really quick before i go to bed...

a few pictures from our first visit to the portrait studio yesterday.

these are the ones i copied from the website so they are super small and completely unedited.

a BIG thanks to catherine for buying my kids their outfits. you saved me from freaking out today!!! i don't know why i wait until 10 minutes before the appointment to try to find all of our clothes!

the first family photo. and can you believe that we didn't have to yell or bribe them to get this picture!

it is obvious that lauren and jared adore brandon

safe in his daddy's arms

giving my sweet little boy sugars

loving on my baby

hard to believe

the baby swing is rocking brandon back and forth. life is just perfect for him. clean diaper, peach paci, and a full tummy. there are little feet running up and down the stairs. they are playing "restaurant" on the staircase in their cute new curious george aprons and chef hats from gram and grandpa dallas. occasionally you'll hear someone start fussing because so and so got the ice cream or the brussel sprouts. james is at work again. there are times during the day when the craziness in my house makes me...well, crazy (crazier than normal ha ha), but right now at this very minute my heart is at peace with the world.
today our sweet baby brandon turned one month old. why didn't one month during my pregnancy pass this quickly? i'll save my thoughts on that for another blog entry! anyway, he is adjusting quite well into this family. he has a pretty great appetite and he is a good little sleeper. he really is just a great baby, the kind of baby i like...can't move, sleeps alot, doesn't talk back, and eats whatever you stick in his mouth, without complaints. :) just kidding...kind of! it's a shame that they don't stay this way until 18! he's just so pleasant, and did i mention cute?!?!

other news...

lots of crazy changes are going on at james' work. late nights and overseas business trips are not something you want to hear your husband say when you are sleep deprived and overextended. i keep telling myself that i have a pretty easy life and if i want to continue my shopping sprees and scrapbooking, i'm going to have to support him during this time. and he really doesn't need me to add my drama on top of all the stress he has going on there. so if you're the praying type...pray for us the next few weeks as we...i mean i...deal with the house, a newborn, and two hooligans!

speaking of...

jared and lauren are just loving being the big brother and big sister. they take it very seriously! they have both been a huge help with getting the diaper{s} and wipes during the changing sessions. and believe me...some of them are long sessions as brandon decides to potty on me almost every time i change him! being patient was not a gene that i passed on to these two, but since brandon was born they have been very patient with me and the time it takes for me to get to things that they want/need. i am really proud of these two!

happy one month birthday brandon and happy one month survival for the rest of us!

little mama

last night we didn't ever get back to the kitchen to do the dishes, so i had quite the mess waiting for me when i woke up. lately james has been making sure it's clean before he leaves for work, but today i think he overslept and then had to rush to work. i would like to insert an eyeroll since i feel like i never get to sleep...but i won't! ha ha.

anyway, i needed to get the kitchen cleaned up but brandon was a little fussy this morning. so i asked lauren to help keep an eye on him. i told her to leave him in his carseat, but to give him his paci if he got upset. i put on some silly disney show and then i got to work on the crusty dishes.

every few minutes i would peek around the corner and see how they were doing. everything was peaceful, so i waited a little longer to check. i was scrubbing away and then i heard lauren say, "let me hold your hand baby brother." i stopped what i was doing and grabbed my camera. not only was she holding his hand, but he was sleeping peacefully. he's lucky to have such a sweet big sister!

4 weeks ago...

i couldn't decide if i wanted to celebrate by weeks or by the 24th of each month...so i decided to do both. besides, when does a new {baby} mommy turn down a chance to celebrate her child?

today marks 4 weeks since brandon reid "crashed" into our lives. i know i say it over and over again, but he has been such a joy and i just couldn't imagine my life without him. {or james or jared and lauren.}

here are some pictures to mark him turning four weeks old:
brandon's finally starting to open his eyes more. it's like he's been asleep for a month! i know i better enjoy this peaceful time because one day i'm going to say..."i missed it when all he did was sleep!!!"

okay mom, i think i've had enough of this naked picture taking! i'm getting cold and i'm going to cry any minute!

i warned you!!! i know i have lots of clothes that you can put on me!!!

sissy comes to help me get brandon dressed and to settled down.

a picture for mrs. anita and mrs. suzan. brandon looks cute in all his brown and blue outfits!

and he's back asleep. thanks for being such a good sport brandon!

happy FOUR week old birthday little man!

back when we were just a family of 4

on this day last month, we were finally able to get our christmas card picture taken. last month i hesitated to post a picture of our favorites because i wanted to get the card out first, but that never happened. as i was looking through my picture folders tonight, i realized that i had never gotten back to posting them on here. so here they are.

i like this one because i don't even look pregnant!

this one i look HUGE! gotta love the antlers! they are good sports for wearing them. they know mommy had to have this photo op for the scrapbook!!!

and for the last two years we have had our photographer take a picture of us doing our family hug. it should be interesting next christmas when we have brandon with us!

brandon meets his future 1st grade teacher

today was a lazy day. after this weekend, i needed some downtime. i loved all the activities and fellowship with the in-laws and friends, but i missed just being quiet and having the baby pretty much all to myself! although here's a big HINT, HINT to my husband...your 6-week reprieve on not having to help with diaper changes is over. that is one time i wouldn't mind sharing the baby with someone! ha :)

at 2 p.m., i headed up to lauren's mdo to pick her up. i had to get her a little early because i had signed up to read to jared's class. lauren LOVES to go to mrs. h's class to read. she is always on her very best behavior. this was brandon's first trip up to the school. mrs. h. has been telling me she's been looking forward to meeting him. and boy was she! she pretty much handed the class over as i stepped into the doorway. she said she had been looking forward to babysitting him! i read the class three books. i have so much fun reading to these kids. they are so appreciative of me coming to read...especially when i really get into the characters of the books! and they love it when i read really fast!

i would show the picture of brandon with the whole class {especially since it turned out super cute}, but since i didn't get to ask all the parents for permission, i didn't want to post on here. but here's one of jared with his teacher and brother. i just love how proud jared is of his baby brother! i know i'm still hormonally challenged, but i tear up every time i look at this photo!

and hopefully mrs. h will still be teaching when brandon starts the 1st grade. she is such an awesome teacher. and maybe by then...i'll have figured out her folder system! just kidding mrs. h!

big rig

we were up bright and early today. john and selena called and said they were trying to arrange meeting up with uncle jonathan. i was excited because i've been wanting him to show jared his big truck, and i wanted him to meet his newest nephew. jared could not contain his excitement when we pulled into the outback parking lot! i'm pretty sure most of the excitement was because he was so happy to see his uncle, but he was pretty darn happy about exploring the big truck! uncle jonathan gave us a really good tour of the truck. i asked jared what his favorite part was, and go figure...it was honking the big horn! boy was that loud. freaked lauren out. the baby slept right through it! go figure!!!

aren't these pictures sweet? brandon meeting uncle jonathan for the first time!

we wish we could have visited longer, but jonathan had to get back to work and we had to get to lauren's ballet class. thanks uncle jonathan for showing us your big rig. we can't wait to see you soon.

lauren picked out her brand new ballet outfit this morning. she loves the "diamonds" and the fact that it matches her eye color. i don't know any other four year old that picks out clothes based on their eye color! now all she needs is some flashdance leg warmers! ha ha. anyway, lauren did awesome this week in ballet. her whole class actually. they are working hard on learning the different positions. lauren's not as graceful as some, but she is definitely the prima ballerina of the group! i love the picture of her leaping over the mat. this girl can get some air!

after ballet, lauren usually gets to pick where she wants to go eat lunch. no surprise...as soon as we climbed into the mini, she was asking to go to target. my in-laws laughed. they must think i go there daily. well, close... we ended up going to eat at ruby tuesday's. i love those little sliders.

we headed home and we all got some rest. gram and grandpa came back over to the house to play some games and taylor came over and visited for a while. jared and lauren challenged taylor and grandpa to a game of trouble. little did they know, but our little kids have some serious game strategy. jared and lauren sent them home...over and over. they got to hear our "nah nah nah" song so many times that grandpa became a sore sport and quit! ha ha. there was also some pretty big lego palaces built today by lauren and grampa. we just had a fun afternoon!

after gram and grampa headed out, we lounged on the couch and talked about what we were going to eat for dinner. i wasn't really in the mood to cook, so we pretty much decided on sandwiches. but we were saved by the {door}bell! our sweet neighbors from across the street showed up with pork tenderloin and ratatouille! the pork was so tender and the veggies were pretty much finished off. we really appreciated them thinking about...and feeding us!

it's nice to have such thoughtful people in our lives. it's so funny because we didn't expect misty and eric to go so far out of their way to help us during this last four weeks. i've learned alot about some of my "friends" in the last few weeks. i hate saying anything negative on here, but lets just say that i am learning that sometimes the rainbows of support come from the people you least expect to receive them from. and that makes them all the more beautiful.

gram & grandpa dallas

while we were anxiously waiting for gram and grandpa dallas to arrive, i took some pictures of the big kids with the baby. i just love the way they love on him. they are so protective over him. i know that they are always going to have his back. lauren loves to look at his hands and compare how big hers are to his. she studies his nose and wants to know if it looks like hers or jared's. and she always asks about his ears. we joke that brandon has elf ears since he was born on christmas eve. hopefully we don't give the boy a complex about them! they are cute...just a little pointy at the top!

the kids were so excited about their grandparents coming that they really couldn't settle down long enough for a rest time. we were a little nervous that they'd develop bad attitudes, so we sat down on the comfy couch and james read them his old school star wars book. as you can see, all three of them enjoyed it. it kind of makes me sad because i want my only little girl to stay a girly girl...not want to be a clone trooper! you should see her with her light saber. watch out darth vader! ha ha.
gram and grandpa finally arrived. the kids were beyond excited to see them. it's a shame that they live so far away. i know the kids would love to see them more often than they do. they were thrilled to meet brandon. and i was thrilled they started his college fund!!! thank you john & selena. we really appreciate you getting it off to a big start!

they held brandon for a long time, and i got ready for dinner. we ended up going to gringo's to eat. we surprised taylor when we came in. she helped get our big table together and lauren was so excited to tell her that she was getting ice cream for dessert for doing her big girl "business" in the potty this morning. ha ha. dinner was so nice. the kids were very well behaved. brandon didn't make a peep. we had interesting conversations about the economy, the president-elect, james' work, and jared also explained to us why monday was a holiday. it was a fun night.