i stink at blogging!

another week has gotten away from me. i want to go back and fill in the gaps, but i think i am just going to let it go.

let it go.

i'm not really good at that. see my craft room from hell if you don't believe me! from front to back, floor to ceiling...paper, embellishments, halfway started projects, finished projects, piles of pictures, stamps, buttons (that's lauren's fault), empty coke cans...you name it, it's in here! i have a pile of 12x12 paper 4 ft. high. do i really need that much paper? probably not. but will i let it go? never!!!

friendships. i hold on to some of those for way too long. some of them i've "let go" and then wished i would have tried harder. lately i'm feeling that way about one friendship in particular. why on earth do i care about a person who doesn't seem to care about me? i'm doing a beth moore bible study right now on esther. so i've been praying alot more and just trying to figure out what God wants for me and my life. and over and over in my prayers, i feel lead to pray for her. i haven't had communication with her since after her wedding when i sent her an email wondering why she bothered inviting me. it makes me so sad to think about the demise of our friendship because i had considered her one of my dearest friends. she was such a huge blessing to me when i had jared and i was a single mother. it hurts so much to not know if she's okay and to celebrate being married and one day have our kids become best friends. why i hold on to this i'll never know.

being perfect. i totally need to let that go. sometimes i feel so much pressure trying to be that perfect wife...the one who has the kids looking perfect, dinner on the table every night, clean house, etc. well, i've given up on the house! i would rather hold my sweet baby boy and play with the kids than clean up. but i'm just saying that sometimes i'm trying to hold it all together when i really just want to fall apart. but i won't. because i have too much pride.

i don't even know why i'm saying all of this. maybe someone out there will read this and won't feel alone. or maybe someone will feel sorry for me and come clean my house. ha ha! that was a joke. i don't even know where anyone would start. funny story...mailman comes to deliver one of my scrapbook kit club boxes. he knocks on the door. i answer. he asks me if it's better for him to knock on the door. i'm like, "i don't care whether you ring the doorbell or knock." he then says, "well, i just don't want to wake up the kids in your daycare." i'm confused. i then ask him where he gets the idea that i run a daycare. he says, "well...i figured you ran one with all the toys you have in that front room!" omg. i'm so embarrassed! but not enough to let any of those go either.

i'm a mess. i know. and that's why some of you love me so much!

anyway.........since i "can't let go" of posting without a picture...here are a few from when uncle johnny visited. thank goodness someone else realizes the importance of having mommy in the picture! there are literally hundreds of photos, here are just few of my favorites!:

the five of us

daddy and the big kids

daddy and his baby boy

little mister

mommy and mini-me playing with brandon

and a few of mommy and brandon